Procreation and associated challenges

I have a friend/acquaintance that has been trying to get pregnant for two years and she's had some associated medical emergencies and emotional issues having to do with, I think, the environment here in the married student village where there are so many pregnant mamas and several little tykes running around.(It's pretty overwhelming/ strips away any unique-ness you thought you had.) I have another friend who's expecting her second unexpected child in a marriage of just two years. She took it hard at first, but now they are happy, what else is there to do?
I admire both friends, not because they overcame their difficulties, which is yet to be determined, but because I like to be around them both and I see similarities between us. We're all trying to take control of our lives, but we're doing it in different ways. Three people and a union that could exist, but doesn't as of yet..all three of us wanted to have kids eventually. The one that wasn't able to concieve, has wanted to for some time, but she is a strong woman. The one that had a surprise baby and another one on the way takes life as it comes and she has more faith in life. I have a lot to learn from these women.
My baby was also a surprise and I worried myself sick about it until...well, I think the worry is still with me. I worry that I could become pregnant again, regardless of countless birth control measures, or is that better than becoming infertile or getting cancer or something else from extended use of chemical contraceptives or other devices. It's too bad that abstinence really doesn't work anymore, contrary to what I learned in 7th grade health class. The possiblity of getting pregnant again is a constant fear and it's not healthy.
What I hope to learn from my friends is that God sometimes has different plans for us than we have ourselves. I want to be strong and take life as it comes. I think this is more complicated for women than for men. The business of Procreation is a tough one.